Taylor Swift is so right about you.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
