The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
