I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize