There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
