he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
