So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
