she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize