you have to choose: penises or morals?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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