Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
