As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize