help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
