Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
