If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
