When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
