how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
