Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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