Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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