I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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