xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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