I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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