Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Umm I'm too high to move.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
