Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I understand Curling. That high.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
