fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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