this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
