Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
