There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
