sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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