How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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