i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
