why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
