I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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