If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
