Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
