I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize