You're my little dorito
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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