Barsexuality is the new black.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize