Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
