he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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