I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
