Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
