party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
