Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
