Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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