So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
