We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
