We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
