You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize