with your own penis?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
