let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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