And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
