Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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