Well apparently he's into motor boating.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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