I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
