we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
