I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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