I got her a Nickelback box set.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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