It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
