Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it fun? or sober?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
