Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
