Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize