I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
