It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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