Me too!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
