i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
