You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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