Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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