Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
