Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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