its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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