if you like me you must not know who I am
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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