Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
