shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
