Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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