lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
