wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
