Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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