at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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