I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
