I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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