woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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