You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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