My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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