I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
